Why do you give up on your health goals?
You set a goal to lose weight, you make a commitment with yourself because you are actually very good at making commitments!
Once you make the commitment, you feel very excited and determine! You start to plan your meals, sign up for the gym, or for a programme and you are now you are fired up. And all of that feels amazing.
But then what happens?
Just after you made the commitment, the reality sets in.
And how do you feel? You start feeling deprivation, confusion, fear, doubt, anger, sadness, overwhelm, shame, rebellion, you name it…
This is all that happens, you feel these terrible emotions. And what you make all of this mean?
That was a terrible idea. That’s is too hard. Something went terribly wrong, this shouldn’t be happening.
Then you start to tell yourself: I never really made this commitment anyway.
Or even worse you start to blame the gym, the trainer, the program that you are in... you swear that you have tried but it doesn't work.
But what if we could look at these terrible emotions and thoughts that come up after we make the commitment, as something normal?
You need to understand that as long as you as you make the commitment this for sure is going to happen on purpose, it supposed to, and there is nothing wrong with the world or with you.
So, to go through this you have to have courage. You need to be ready to move forward despite the way you feel. Because this is the place where most of the people give up. They don’t want to feel terrible.
Eating cookies feels good and losing weight feel terrible, right?
So, once you are willing to stay in that place, and learn how to get through it and learn all the skills to manage your mind, and to not eat when you are not hungry, all of that creates capability, which is like your skill set, and once you develop that, then you get confidence.
Every success is the ability to get from commitment to capability.
I call it the river of misery.
You need to be willing to go through the river of misery to be able to achieve your goal. But there is no way to get to confidence without going through the process of courage and capability.
Everything we want is on the other side of this.
So answering the question I asked at the beginning of the post: Why do we give up in our health goals? The answer is: because we are not willing to go through the river of misery.
We are not willing to feel negative emotions.
For that reason, we give up. For that reason we change the commitment once you start navigating into the river of misery, because once you change or give up on your commitment then you don’t need to go through the process, you don’t need to feel terrible.
So how not to give up on your health goals?
Be being willing to feel any emotion that will come up to you.
Do not give up when things starts to get terrible, it’s normal, it’s part of the deal, and you will succeed once you get to the other side of the river.
The best news is: you will evolve, you’ll learn, you’ll have the capability and confidence to keep the result forever.
There is nothing that can stop you to achieve any goal you have in your life.
If you think you are navigating in the river of misery and you need support and help to go through it, I can help you. Let's jump on a call and talk about it. You can message me on my website: www.pamellaarnold.com